A Runner’s World – Week 4

Sunday: I finished my fit test today! Woo hoo!! So glad I’m done.

Sprint/Run: 1.5 miles (in 12 minutes 57 seconds); 31 Pushups; and 46 crunches… yeah, I’m sore

Sleep: 2300-0715 – can’t believe I went to bed at 2300… Though, I hope to fall asleep earlier

Monday: Biked 5 miles in the rain

Sleep: 0030-0700. – I was tossing and turning and getting stressed out over a messy relationship.

Tuesday: None (very sore!!)

Sleep: 0015-0730

Wednesday: Ran 3 miles

Thursday: Biked, about 10 minutes?

Friday: Biked for 10 minutes

Saturday: Biked for 5 miles (total)

Sleep: Didn’t get to bed until 0500. I was arguing with a boy about faith. Why do I do this to myself??

Sleep Log

Week 1 (August 3-9):

Sunday: 0200-1100… yikes!

I had a bad day and lost sleep over a messy relationship.

Monday: 0100-0815

I was so tired, that I could not wake up to my alarm.

Tuesday: 1230-0800

Ditto… I’m going to bed earlier, but I still feel like I need more sleep. Plus, I need to get up *earlier*. Any tips on how to fall asleep earlier?

Wednesday: 0030-0640… I was so tired in the morning, I had to take a nap before lunch. Though, I wasn’t so tired the rest of the day. Maybe I need to limit my computer time? I am on my computer all day. Such a time-waster. Tomorrow is another day.

Thursday: 0040-0630… I felt so horrible, that went I got home from work, I slept for 2 hours. Why can’t I go to sleep at a descent time? Yesterday, I was so stressed out. Not only about all the events going on in my life, but about a relationship I am in.

I feel so stressed out because it doesn’t seem like he wants the relationship to work, and I also feel like I would have to change him if it ever would. Any thoughts? Am I wasting my time or is this just a learning experience? It used to be a learning experience for me, but now I don’t learn anything new. 

Sometimes I wonder, does God even want me to be in this relationship? I feel like the relationship has absolutely no commitment. I feel insecure because he still loves the person he used to be with. I feel like I have to reach for affection. It makes me feel scarred to death. I am so worried about making mistakes, as both my parents have been divorced and remarried. 

I’m not sure if anyone reads this blog, but if you do, please pray for me. For my soul, my health, my faith, and most of all, my wisdom. It seems so complicated for me to pray about it because I’m too afraid of what God will say. If I hear something I don’t want to hear, I’m not sure if it is coming from God, myself, or the enemy. 

I am currently reading, “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer, and I have realized that my mind is at WAR. How can I make it stop? Why can’t I just end this relationship that is causing me so much pain? I feel jealous, lost, confused, depressed, alone, hopeless, doubtful, manipulated, vulnerable-to the point of changing the person I am. I know that I can’t do this anymore. Is he the problem? Am I the problem? Or was this just not in God’s plan? Am I being impatient for the one God has chosen for me? Will I still love God if He doesn’t give me a man to marry? My answer is yes. Thanks be to Jesus for loving me so much. He died for me and if He saw me in this situation, He wouldn’t exactly be throwing a pity party. Maybe I need to view my life from God’s perspective. What would He think about it?

Friday: 0445-0630… Not so good. I think naps are my problem. I actually just took a 3 hour nap from an incredibly exhausting day. I NEED to go to bed by 2300 tonight (if not earlier), as I have drill at 0600 in the morning. I should get in the mindset to always go to bed at least before midnight. Otherwise, I’m super miserable every day. I need to pray about my sleep. I can’t seem to get a handle of this on my own.

Saturday: 0440-0530. I was so tired today, that I fell asleep after work for 4 hours… yikes! To change this cycle, I’m going to bed BEFORE midnight tonight.

A Runner’s World – Week 1

July 20, 2008

1 bowl of oatmeal, milk, 1 yummy quesadilla , FUZE drink, celery-I don’t think this has satisfied my biological food pyramid.

biked: about 30 min? I was going to bike for 16 miles, but I got paranoid because my new spedometer wasn’t working.

Thoughts: I’m frustrated with life. Sometimes I wonder why I keep myself so busy. It is so hard to sit down and read or write because I have so many other things on my mind. Maybe I should just start writing down my current thoughts more often so that I will be less frustrated… Then, hopefully, I can sit down to read or write in *peace*.

What should I do differently in my life to read more? Although I am an English major, I feel as if I’m lacking in this area. And I KNOW it’s not because I don’t like reading. It’s because I can’t enjoy it with everything else going on.

Like running for instance. If life seems to get busy, I stop running. But the key word here is *seem.* Sometimes my life *seems* to get busy when I am trying to run away from everything in my life, including God. I know that when I have made decisions that are not part of His plan, I start avoiding Him and everything else in my life. I just try to keep extra busy so that I don’t have to think about it.

I am looking for guidance on how to change this cycle. For one, I need to turn to God’s word. Second, I need to list my *priorities.* I get so disappointed in myself when I get everything done for the day except for what I really wanted to get done-homework, studying, reading-all of which I used to enjoy, but now it just seems like another thing to cross of my list, as if it was not suppose to be enjoyable.

Well, there you have it. Any thoughts on how to prioritize/plan life, and enjoy it at the same time?

 

21 July 2008

Food: celery, tortilla, california burgers (in tortillas), LOTS of potato salad, orange and white tea FUZE drinks–I still need to eat more… maybe I just need to get grocery shopping figured out.

Biked: 16 miles (yay!) in 1 hour and 40 minutes, averaging 9.6 mph and a max of 17.1 mph… I went way too slow–mainly because I had to keep stopping (it was very dark and I was stopping between lights/blocks). I need to start using the bike path. The only problem is, I don’t think I can ride there in the dark (there are no lights). I should also start in the morning so that I can be energized for the day, and not have to worry about pesky misquitos!!! :[ My goal for tomorrow morning is to bike 15 miles in less than an hour. I’m pretty sure I can do this because I won’t have to keep stopping. After I bike, I hope to run 3 miles, in less than 30 minutes (if I can find my stop watch )… Furthermore, I realized why I’ve been so frustrated today. I will post a blog about this later in the week, as I feel like I need to think about it more and find some inspiring words. So check back for further updates.

 

22 July 2008

Food: Special K w/ strawberries, milk, apple juice, California burgers-again, FUZE drink, chocolate rice crispy bar… hmm, is this healthy? I just feel like I need something more. Any suggestions on how to have a healthier diet?

Biked: 15 miles in 1 hour and 5 minutes (SO close to my goal), averaging 13 mph and a max of 17.9 mph. Today went so much better. I was able to *see* on the bike path and I did not have to stop as often. Not sure if tomorrow is going to be a good day (I have lots of homework). I think I’ll just run a mile tomorrow morning and call it good.

23 July 2008

Food: Special K w/ strawberries, milk, apple juice, 2 chicken Sammies, and being waffle cone Wednesday, I couldn’t pass up a white chocolate ice-cream cone… oh yes, and a green tea FUZE drink- I’m not sure if I have a good diet, but I definitely feel as if I’m eating enough (even though I feel I should eat more). However, It feels like there’s no variety. Hmmm. I guess I’ll have go grocery shopping again.

Ran: 1 mile in a measly 11 minutes. Not only was I sore and tired, but I had trouble breathing. Maybe I should start taking my inhaler before exercising from now on. Actually, I think my acid reflux has something to do with my breathing problems, so I’ll have to set up another doctor’s appointment before school starts. My goal for tomorrow is to run 3 miles in less than 30 minutes. Wish me luck!

 

24 July 2008

Food: LOTS of flax cereal, milk, apple juice, turkey and cheese sandwich; sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich; raspberry julius (yum )… I feel like I ate a lot today, but I probably needed it.

Exercise:

12 Pushups (in a row-I have a long ways to go ^_^)

Ran: 3 miles in 30 min and 57 seconds (SO close to my goal). I still had trouble breathing today. I was trying really hard to run it under 30 minutes, but I was wheezing very heavily the whole time. I need to remember to use my inhaler *before* exercising. But I also want to get my acid reflux under control since my throat burns so often. Hopefully, I can set one up tomorrow. Not sure why my breathing has been so out of whack lately. I guess it could be a multitude of things-allergies, asthma, acid reflux, and possibly being out of shape. :/

P.S. I’m running a triathlon on the 27th! So hopefully I can breathe during the race.

 

25 July 2008

Food: Okay, today wasn’t so great. Mainly because I was tired and there wasn’t much to eat. I ate oatmeal, applejuice, and LOTS of banana bread… Oh well, I’ll do better tomorrow.

Exercise: 20 pushups (much better!) and 55 crunches (yay!)

Note: I rested my aching muscles today so I wouldn’t be so sore for my race on Sunday.