How Far is the East from the West?

How often do we find ourselves fixating on our past sins?! I may even question… do we worship our sin? I find myself doing this FAR too often! I dwell on the sin. I let the sin define me. I find doing these things much easier than letting God define me, letting God forgive my sin and remove my transgressions as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103). God doesn’t want us to worship our sin! He desires for ALL of creation to worship and glorify Him (Psalm 148). Not only does He call on humans, but He calls on the sun, the moon, the mountains, and the animals among others to praise Him.

Furthermore, we are called to throw off everything that hinders us–including the sin that so easily entangles us (Hebrews 12:1). Instead, let us fill ourselves with God; let us keep all these wrong things (sin included) from coming to our minds. Let God define us, let God fill us. Let us set our mind on things above (Colossians 3:2).

James 3: A Story

I took the 5:54. Will you?

Ready to Sprint

Get ready. Because I’m ready to change my life around. I’m ready to not only talk about God, I want to start ACTING like God. I want to be like Him so badly, even though I have screwed up things in my life. I am going to do everything possible in my spiritual muscle to gain back strength. I need God so much now it’s not even funny.

Thank God for my accountability partner, David. He couldn’t be more of a help to me this morning. While I didn’t feel like I could talk to him about my bad situation, he listened to me and reminded me that he would be praying for me. He told me to pull up my spiritual and Biblical muscle while I spend some serious alone time to think, meditate, and pray to God.

I’m not sure how I’m going to start this sprint with God, but I need to start now. I need to leap in and trust Him. I need to stop doubting God.

After all, He has created me. Doesn’t he deserve a little more than what I’m giving Him? He expects more from me. I expect more from me. Everyone should also expect more from me.

I’m ready.

I Will Praise You

I’m in a waiting place filled with questions and events.  Questions about the future, about God’s timing, about His direction, and so much more.  Events such as graduation, the end of tech school, new beginnings, a new semester, trips in December, and other little things.  I’m setting my eyes and waiting.  I am surrendering my will and choosing to be like Daniel and Esther.  I am seeking wisdom, clarity, and direction.  I refuse to be tossed around like a wave of the sea, but instead am holding tight to the One who will give me the desires of my heart.

Swan Lake at 5 in the Morning

Breaking Away

Lately, I’ve been thinking about a specific biblical issue that has been pulling at my heart strings. The issue is about women in leadership and what womens’ roles are in the church. Frankly, if I was the creator of Christianity, I would allow women to be preachers. But I didn’t create Christianity (thankfully). God did. So I am going to be objective and search for truth.

For those of you who know me well, you may know that I have been thinking (for a long time) about becoming a chaplain. If I become a military chaplain, I would have to be ordained. Though if I became a chaplain at a hospital, that would not require ordination. In studying this issue on women in the church, I know it’s going to be hard to be objective. It’s going to be hard not to listen to the people who encourage me to become a military chaplain or say that since it is the only ministry position in the military, it is therefore okay to be a female chaplain in the military. Instead of listening to all the views of humans, I am going to seek God’s view, because that  is the only perspective that truly matters.

So get ready for some truth seeking posts in the next couple of months!

Waiting for a New Year

Hi again. Just checking back, mainly because there is something I really need to share.

I have been writing in this blog  for most of this year, and I feel like I keep writing (and thinking) about *that* person. The person I wanted to change so that he could be with me. Then I realized that I can’t change him. I can only change myself, and that is exactly what I need to do. I have developed mild depression, high anxiety, and chronic headaches this year, so I’m trying to get better.

Lord, I don’t want to have migraines anymore. I am in so much pain. I know that I haven’t been going to You about my pain. I just ignored it ’cause I thought I’d be fine without Your help. But that is so untrue. I need You so much Lord. Please heal my headaches and my heart.

I want to thank You so much for my dear friend, Sarah. She helped me remember that You are always with me, no matter what. Even if I’m not the perfect student, friend, or daughter. Bless Sarah’s grandma and her family. Thank You for having her in my life.

I also want to thank You for second chances. Regardless of where I am, I still have a New Year ahead of me. For now, my New Years resolutions are to (1) Pray to You for wisdom (James 1:5) in regards to what resolutions, if any, You would have me make; (2) Pray for wisdom as to how to fulfill the goals You give me; (3) Rely on Your strength to help me; (4) Encourage my accountability partner; (5) Don’t become discouraged with occasional failures; instead allow them to motivate me further; (6) Don’t become proud or vain, but give You the glory. Psalm 37:5-6, “Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.”

Thank You Lord for the upcoming new year, and for the second chances 2009 will bring.

God Will Heal A Broken Heart

Matthew 5:4 – Happy are those who mourn, God will comfort them.

 HOW TO EXPERIENCE GOD’S COMFORT

1. Realize that God is with Me

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and He saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

 Things I Need to Remember

God is aware.

“You (God) keep close watch on everywhere I go.” Job 13:27

 God cares.

“The Lord is good. He protects those who trust Him in times of trouble.” Nahum 1:7

 God wants to help us.

“Whenever we are in need, we should go bravely before the throne of our merciful God. There we will be treated with kindness, and we will find help.” Hebrews 4:16

 2. Release the Hurt How?

I must stop focusing on what’s lost and start focusing on what’s left.

“Forget what happened in the past, and do not dwell on events from long ago.” God says, “I am going to do something new.” Isaiah 43:18

“Don’t take revenge, dear friends. Instead, let God’s anger take care of it.” Romans 12:19

“But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.” Psalm 10:14

 3. Rely on God’s Resources

God’s Alternatives to the Quick Fix

God’s Word (Reading the Bible)

“I am completely discouraged…revive me by your Word.” “Your Word has been my comfort.” Psalm 119:25,52

God’s People (Your Brothers and Sisters in Christ)

“Our God is a God of comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble so that we can comfort others when they have trouble. We comfort them with the same comfort that God gives us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

God’s Spirit

“I pray that God who gives hope, will bless you with happiness and peace because of your faith, and may the power of the Holy Spirit fill you with hope.” Romans 15:13

This certainly is not an exhaustive list of verses to help you or someone you know heal a broken heart. But it is a start. My prayer today is that those of you who have broken hearts will try this list. The healing process begins when you begin.

Don’t Worry, Be Praying

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for what He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we will understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

This is something we all need to remember, regardless of how stressful life can be. And since school is almost over, I especially need to remember this in the next couple of weeks.

Thankful Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving.

“Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” -Ephesians 5:19-20

Confessional #1

Confession is not something I’m particularly good at, but I know that I have been secluding God in certain areas of my life. So, here goes:

My ex-boyfriend called me yesterday. We decided to eat super at the Union together, and I wasn’t sure if this was a great idea, but I did it anyway. I thought, “Well, things are fine now. We can just be friends.” I was WRONG. As I made the decision to meet him, something deep down knew that I was too vulnerable, too weak, and ready to believe the lies.

I was in pain. Rocks chiseled my skull as if it were a stone. I wanted so badly to fix things, to make “us” okay. We were talking at dinner and it sounded like everything was going alright, though he walked me home and started criticizing my faith again. He said things like, why do you believe the Bible is true when there are so many contradictory statements in it? Why can’t you just trust in God, why do you have to believe some crazy story about another human being God? Do you think that Jews are going to hell? What happened to people before Christianity became a religion? I answered to him that Jesus was the reason to have faith in God; and that before Christ, people believed there would be a Messiah. I kept trying to help him, but he had such a hard time with that. The pain went on.

I had such a hard time with this relationship. When I was with him, I was serving him more than God, but the Bible says, “You must give yourselves fully to the LORD and serve only Him” (1 Samuel 7:3). As I was reading 1 Samuel, I wondered, will I still love Christ if He never gives me a man to marry? My answer is yes. I have all I need in Jesus. The people He blesses me with are gifts. I don’t deserve any of them. I hope to remember this important thought everyday. Thank you Lord for loving me so much, even when I am feeling alone.