C.S. Lewis

Mariah Carey :)

I love Mariah Carey! She definitely knows how to sing. I’ve been playing this all day for some reason. I guess it’s a phase.

All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey

Eye of God

For all those who frequent this blog, please pray for my soul. I am extremely sad yet I can’t seem to cry. I want to be with friends and family right now but I am isolating myself. People have given up on me. I know God however hasn’t given up on me. I wish I could redo 2009 all over again, but since that’s not an option, I will have to concentrate on the upcoming year. I messed everything up in 2009.

Jesus, please forgive me. For each time I didn’t listen to You. For all the times I selfishly thought of myself whenever I did something. Thank you for giving me the ability to cry right now. I hurt. There is an empty spot in my heart. I am missing someone deeply. I ask that You fill that void. God, please make the pain go away.

I know I completely lost my focus in life this year. Please direct me. Guide me. I can’t do it alone. I love You, Lord Jesus. I give my life completely to You. I surrender. You are my concentration. You are everything I need in this universe.

Wish You Well

Double Voices

Double voices. You’ve heard this term before—probably from a bald, grumpy English teacher scolding you for diverting from your original voice in your essays. “Keep your essays unified, consistent, as clear as a the air.” Sound familiar? To be blatantly honest, I fell into this ambush. I readily believed the high school English teachers who advised me to follow all of these writing rules in order to write well. Or you know what? I should say “write good” if I really want to break the rules—but, that might shove the border line too far. Surprisingly, Lad Tobin discusses one author I’ve treated like a god when it comes to writing: William Zinsser (Bishop 46). Back in my freshman year of college, I religiously read his book, On Writing Well. Unfortunately I became so religious about that book and other writing style books, they became more important to me than the Bible. Ever since I was in elementary school, I’ve wanted to be a writer. Dreams spark my mind each time I envisioned a book written by the renounced “Jessica Aasen.” I could effect the world. Knowledge equaled power. Power resorted to change.

But that’s not going to happen if I close my mind in on the alleged “writing experts.” What if William Zinsser and other authors haven’t given me the best advise? No offense to Zinsser, but when I think about his writing style, the more I realize that everything he wrote was predictable. Banal. Dreary. Mind-numbing. It’s as if he took all my high school English classes and combined all of those rules into one, completely unified essay. Unity gets boring, which is why I’d like to try out Tobin’s use of double-voiced narratives. I could begin one of my essays by writing in a perspective from the past and then in the present. Or I could just as easily write an essay where I talk about my external actions in a scene with interruptions of my personal, inner consciousness. Now that’s what makes a great story. Clean, yet just enough disorder to get the reader interested.

You can also create an impermanent double voice for your drafts by writing about the process you go through in researching and writing your papers (Bishop, 55). Amy Cashulette Flagg proposes this idea so we can keep our the gas flowing in our writing tanks. Writing can be a tedious process, so why not write about it? Double voice is also partly how we as humans think. Usually if I am fuming with anger from an unfortunate incident or preparing for a speech or interview, I am literally talking to myself out loud. Yes, I have conversations with myself where ask myself questions and respond to them. I will even argue with myself. People start wavering their eyebrows when they see me do this. It’s scary. Still, most people like to experience this process of double voices to gain better clarity when solving problems. Same goes for the writing process. People want to experience the thoughts of an author in which a double voice narrative would be appropriate because double voices are in essence part of the human thought process.

Works Cited

Bishop, Wendy. Elements of Alternative Style. Portsmouth, NH: Boynton/Cook, 1997

Fractured Narrative

Ronald A. DePeter points out many useful ways to use fractured narratives in my writing. Before he jumps into these techniques, he briefly mentions that in order to truly understand a text, one must be completely involved “in its performance” (Bishop, 23). The moment I read this, I whispered quietly to myself, “Yes, but why does writing about literature seem so painful, particularly in the academic arena?” I know it helps readers comprehend literacy, yet sometimes I feel bombarded with a load of unwanted writing. Sometimes when I read a book, I just want to read it for the simple pleasure of reading it. No marks in my book. No stress about having to understand the material. In fact, I tend to understand literature better when I’m not constantly taking about writing a miraculous essay on it or worse, taking an exam on it.

I appreciated DePeter’s writing ideas on fractured narratives, though, especially when he starts talking about the “god revised” fragmented style. When his example essay of this style starts out with a treacherous Catholic Church with its congregation wearing bathing suits and flip-flops and the head Priest getting drunk, I couldn’t help but laugh at the very next sentence: “Peace be with you. And also with you.” Seeing how the writer combined ambiguous statements together made my pupils dilate. I noticed that in most of the essays I have written, no humor exists. Change needs to happen within my writing style. Humor is one human element that enhances a person’s writing like no other method. I’ve especially noticed this throughout my other English courses. In my multicultural writing class, my professor asked her students to chose our favorite book out of the eight books we read throughout the semester. Know what? I chose the funniest book, Rez Road Follies by Jim Northrup. Now I should follow the fragmented techniques used by DePeter so the humorous side of myself will show up in my writing, so I can show the Jim Northrup who grew into apart of myself.

And I do have a humorous side. Believe me. Ask my friends. Hypothetically, the more I have learned about writing from teachers, professors, and other “writing” advisors (such as my grandmother), the more afraid I am of speaking. Of telling the truth. Deep. Cruel. Secretive. But truth sells. As expected, Alys Culhane talks about “thirteen ways of looking at an egg” (Bishop, 42). An interesting way I can apply her technique of describing an egg in different ways would be to take an egg and explain exactly what it is and what it is not. Illustratively, I could describe the eggs features—its bumps, whiteness, texture, fragileness, everything to do with its appearance. These descriptors could get my writing tank flowing for a fresh story. Even though each of these descriptors denote a different meaning, they are all part of the egg. If I think deeply enough, I can alternatively discuss what the egg is not—black, simulated mucous pouring out of a fruit. Unless of course, it rotted. Then it might look like a rotten fruit. Regardless of how I try to describe objects in my future stories, essays, and poems, I want to retell the truth. I want to hold my egg up high without fear of it dropping on the floor and breaking. If it does, I will simply get a new egg.

Works Cited

Bishop, Wendy. Elements of Alternative Style. Portsmouth, NH: Boynton/Cook, 1997.

Nightminds

Just lay it all down. Put your face into my neck and let it fall out.
I know, I know, I know.
I knew before you got home.
This world you’re in now,
It doesn’t have to be alone,
I’ll get there somehow, ’cause
I know I know I know
When even springtime feels cold.

But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
So we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise,
Out of our nightminds, and into the light
At the end of the fight…

You were blessed by a different kind of inner view: it’s all magnified.
The highs would make you fly, and the lows make you want to die.
And I was once there, hanging from that very ledge where you are standing.
So I know, I know, I know,
It’s easier to let go.

But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
So we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
And into the light at the end of the fight.

…and in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
And into the light… at the end of the fight…

Alternative Style

Alternative style. An idea that never seemed to sway my mind throughout my junior and high school years. How come? It had to do with the way our highly respected English teachers told us to write. We had to follow all of these plain, sometimes almost disgusting rules. Often times, my mouth would automatically prepare itself for a vomit spill each time we we’re told writing laws that restrict the writing process so much, it makes it impossible to match the standards of famous writers like Jane Austin, Ayn Rand, and Janet Evanovich. Even my 100 level college English courses repetitively taught me to make certain I used a transition word every stinking time I started a new paragraph or to always state the thesis in your first paragraph. Basically, make sure you write the same each time you click your pen and stab it onto the same, recycled paper. While recycled paper gives readers a chance to smell the old, readers are always looking for what is new. That’s what Darrell Fike and Devan discuss in the first chapter of the book, Elements of Alternative Style.

They shock their readers into a major test of truth—asking us about all the times we wrote in a “comfortable” style. It’s funny how their arguments blatantly contradict what I’ve learned in  former English classes. Teachers and professors universally taught me—without even knowing it—to stay within my writing comfort region. To not cross any borders in fear of  breaking any rules that can ultimately make not only the writing extensively boring, but I generally don’t like writing in a constrictive manner. It’s sort of like giving a speech in front of class (which I absolutely hate doing parenthetically). My knees start uncontrollably shaking, my bronchial tubes constrict themselves, my palms and face start sweating like I ran a road race, and if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, I rock back and forth while I give a presentation I didn’t want to initially give. My eyes start spinning with confusion before I write an essay sometimes. One slice of advice my creative writing professor told me to adhere to was that writing has one, singular purpose: to tell the truth. If you are not ready to tell the truth about, you are not ready to write about it. I agree strongly with this particular professor, as he made all the more aware that sometimes you need to break the rules of what you perceive as being societal expectations and try on new pizza toppings for your writing, as Fike and Cook explain (Bishop, 18).

Though these new pizza toppings, or different styles, certainly aide in the clarity of writing. In order to obtain more pizza toppings myself, I need to find more vocabulary building blocks so I can finally design a mansion of words instead of a lowly cottage. To create a gorgeous condominium, I need stop writing in a style that comes most naturally to me (Bishop, 23). Personally, I want to get out of the writing style where I feel most fluent. Too many school days I find myself beginning and ending paragraphs the same way I did yesterday. Elise Rogers, however, shows us an innovative approach to stopping our repetitive and excessively contented writing technique, by creating multiple “starts” of a story. Yes, it can be an annoying method. Sometimes when we write, we want to get the beginning of the story over with, yet when we do these little writing warm ups, it gets us listening and seeing our written words, which is exactly why Rogers suggest doing crazy writing exercises like making stories using only one syllable words (Bishop, 22). Sounds ridiculous, but once we do it, we might find ourselves on a colorful road, often with random turns.

Works Cited

Bishop, Wendy. Elements of Alternative Style. Portsmouth, NH: Boynton/Cook, 1997.

What can 1 person do?

One issue has pinged at my heart strings lately: poverty. What can one person really do to help the poor? Furthermore, are we doing the poor justice if we provide for them, yet don’t teach them how to provide for themselves or build themselves out of poverty? Or are we essentially hurting the poor if we provide for them, making them dependent on us instead of gaining an independent motivation to get out of poverty? Are circumstances the issue here?

What are your thoughts/beliefs on world poverty issues? Watch this video and let me know what you think.

Yum! Banana Bread

Here is my favorite thing to make!  I love that the preparation time is long enough to enjoy, but not annoying or complicated, busy enough yet mindless too.  Perfect baking combination!  Plus, the final product is SO good it’s gone in literally three or four days… maybe five if you’re slow.  Plus, it works for any meal… breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack!

Banana Bread
5 T butter
½ cup sugar
½ cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
2 egg whites
1 t. whites
1 t. vanilla
1 ½ cup mashed bananas
1 ¾ cup flour
1 t. soda
½ t. salt
¼ t. baking powder
½ cup heavy cream (some recipes don’t include this…but I like to think it adds that something extra that makes this recipe extra good.  Though this is usually the only ingredient that needs to be planned)

NOTE: These are REALLY good with white chocolate and many people like them with chocolate too.  Estimate how much you want in there.

1.    Preheat oven to 350.  Spray the bottom of the loaf pans (2 reg. or 4 small).
2.    Beat butter in a large bowl on medium speed until light and fluffy.  Add sugar and brown sugar.  Beat well.  Add egg, egg whites, and vanilla.  Beat until well blended.  Add mashed bananas.  Beat on high 30 sec.
3.    Combine flour, baking soda, salt and baking powder.  Add this flour mixture to butter mixture alternately w/cream.  End with flour mixture.
4.    Pour the batter evenly into the loaf pan.  Bake until brown, toothpick inserted in center will come out clean.  Baking times: Larger Loaf pan—1 hour 15 minutes.  Smaller Loaf pan—45 minutes.  (I don’t know if I buy these times… each oven is different and I usually find it needs more time).
5.    Cool on wire rack in pan.  Remove from pan after 10 minutes.  Cool completely on wire rack.  (Nah, go ahead and eat some after the first 10 minutes… YUM!)